A Journey to Find Myself


Volleyball Woes

First work with the program Audacity.

First listen here, then I will tell you about it.

Why did I choose this story? Well, this was my one and only shining moment in Volleyball. This was probably the only time in four years of playing that I actually scored (or played for that matter). I mean, it was almost 20 years ago and I still remember it. Hey, I don’t have a lot of shining moments. I hang on to the ones I have!

If you look at the post below you can imagine I was NOT athletic. My friend talked me into playing volleyball that year. I was terrified. I just knew I would make an ass of myself. And I admit, it was hard. I rarely got to play. And even more rarely actually hit the ball. But there were a few good moments and many good friends. It turned out all right in the end… and got me off my butt for a few months out of the year!

I Have A Story To Tell

If asked when I was younger to describe myself in words here are some that I would have used: awkward, big, ugly,  photo 40453_426505446031_3489732_n_zpsdf82cf60.jpguncomfortable, unenthusiastic, and sensitive. I mean really… being me was…. weird.  Just look. This poor girl was taller (and larger) than every person her age…even the boys. She had boobs at, like, 8. Seriously. A bra in 3rd grade – that sucks.

Fast-forward to the present. I’m 31 years old now. I’ve changed.

 photo 532082_3652250147467_992976851_n_zpsdc112d88.jpgOn the outside I’m different. More importantly though? I’m different on the inside. I’m still awkward, but not all the time. I no longer think of myself as big, or ugly. I can still get uncomfortable in situations, but I no longer dwell on it. I’m very enthusiastic about things in my life. I’m still sensitive, but this has made me aware of how my words and actions make people feel.

What was the defining moment that changed everything? Like Cinderella putting on her glass slipper, right? Not exactly. Like I said, everything hasn’t changed. That girl is still in there. But, every once in a while, something happens to make me remember that my story is worth telling. Most recently, one of my very first assignments was to create a podcast of me telling a story. My first thought? CRAP (yes, capitalized). First I have to decide what story to tell. Then I have to record it. IN. MY. OWN. VOICE. I don’t even like recording my own voicemail message because I hate the way I sound. It sounds completely different in my head, I assure you.

I did it, though. I told a story that was from my heart. That meant something to me. That revealed a very important part of my life. I practiced (and practiced some more) and then I recorded the podcast.  Honestly, I expected to hate it. I just knew my voice would sound nasal and crackly. But, I pushed play. And what I heard was… different. I have spoken in public before. I usually get very good feedback from it and that always surprised me. How can they think I am good when I know how I sound? Now I understood. When I have a story to tell, I am all the positive things inside me. I am so focused on my story I forget about my awkwardness. I forget about being uncomfortable. I remember that I am enthusiastic. I remember that I am sensitive.  I had a story to tell. And I told it well. That makes me feel like this:  photo 602425_10151547747296632_1044727602_n_zps3056d654.jpg

What Makes Steve Jobs a Powerful Storyteller?

Steve Jobs was passionate. Plain and simple. When we are children we are excited. About everything! When we are 3 we are passionate about about our favorite toy. We cry and scream and yell if someone takes our toy away. That toy is the best, most exciting thing in the world and we WANT it! At 6 we are still passionate. We just made the most amazing Lego Creation in the entire world. What looks like a bunch of tiny blocks in random towers to adults, is an entire battlefield where we will defeat the enemy single-handedly and save the world! At 10 we are passionate about our new bicycle. This is not just any bicycle. This bicycle is our ticket to another world. We ride to distant lands and make forts under trees. Sometimes we ride so fast we end up flying high over oceans. At 15 we are changing a little. We are passionate about our friends. But sometimes they let us down. It’s harder to be passionate these days. Then we are 18. We move from child to adult seemingly overnight. We are told to be practical. Not passionate. To go to college. Whether we want to or not. And usually this does not include encouraging us to take calligraphy no matter how fascinating we find it.

By sharing his stories at this commencement, Steve Jobs is encouraging these graduates to pursue what they love, even if it doesn’t seem practical. He gives them back their right to be passionate and learn to tell their own story.